"My biggest accomplishment this week was working through the overwhelming feelings.
It's been a conscious effort to breath and keep walking forward. I feel motion but haven't had that visual representation recently. That reinforcement.
The optimism of me keeps saying it's about to be an explosion how everything hits. Like this is just a really really big build up.
The other side continues to ask 'Is it me?' Attempting to find my fault to correct it. I practiced challenging this with what and not why. It told me to step away.
The delayed gratification is winning right now. I'm seeing everything on track but not sure what how far 'till the next destination. And this new information and seeing more dots of how to connect them sends my mind racing again.
I don't feel I'm getting ahead of myself, don't feel out of control, but a couple slips, slight hydroplanes, but still controlled the wheel.
I wish a lot of times I had this ability to stop my mind. It just goes. And I'm allowing, maybe forcing, but consciously not challenging myself. I take right now as a time to bail out and accept, trust and exercise stillness and patients, rather than forcing the issue."