Long story short in terms of context: Yesterday was shorty's birthday and we did karaoke. A small room of 6 total and I dipped out multiple times because I didn't care to be there. Made some business calls for the listening event and leisure call as well. Was going in and out the room to a point where I couldn't take being in there. Anxiety was through the room. When we talked about it after she said she's not inviting me to anymore of her outtings and that I need get out of this shyness and grow from my uncomfortability in environments not tailored towards me.
My response is if you're not gonna treat me as human than treat me as a God. And what I mean by that is if I'm not allowed to be visibly uncomfortable or clearly off from something, than allow me to be this bigger than life figure and treat me as greater.
She tells me often enough to chill because how much I "work", but again, this is a difference in a 9-5 mind vs entrepreneur and even greater, an artist/creator. My mind does not work the way an average mind processes life. Add that I'm preparing for an event next week, I don't care about much outside where my focus is right now and that's the event.
Sascha brought up the great point that there's a difference between being uncomfortable because something's growing you vs being uncomfortable because something's not for you. Boy! Do I want shorty to get that. As she told me to get out of my isolated mindset and interact, my thought and counter is "About what? This is not fun to me. We would not have the conversation(s) I'd like to have." Which went into the next topic of different forms of fun and work vs leisure.
I hate that I'm put in the category of someone who's addicted to working. I've said before just because people perceive me to have much, doesn't mean I don't still need to work everyone else, and two, I made what I enjoy income. I like creating, making money is a hobby, driving is a hobby, and I made a way to get paid from them. Why would I not want to continue to do what I enjoy.
I know my scheduling is inconceivable to some, but I have a lot of downtime; which is the time I use to create something. People seem not to get that which makes me type and share this message with whomever resonates of when creating is your favorite hobby you make an effort to do it as often as you can. None of this is a job to me. This is all just an enjoyable aspect of the grind based around my strengths.