Many people are wrongfully judged as strong when in survival mode. And I mean that in the context of someone doing the innate. We all have fight or flight senses and many grew up in environments where they were forced to "Survive". From toxic parents to toxic environments. Friends and family who only knew struggle (survival). With many having connections to the hood you grew up hearing stories of how parents got to school through public transportation in all weathers, people learning to fight because situations forced them to know how, knowing tricks for heat or getting hot water when bills weren't paid; and where many identify these as skills, they were forced onto someone.
Survival is involuntary and unconscious It's a difference between choosing to walk in the snow and having no choice but to get through it to get to school. A difference from learning the art of fighting from sport and training vs having to defend yourself because someone wants something you have. We never identify the root of someone's strength. What we see as bold, strong, passionate, powerful, fast, provocative, the individual may not see of themself. They don't identify with these characteristics because they were not consciously developed skills but traumatic responses and molding into adulthood. Although perceived as these great traits externally they're mischaracterization because the person doesn't have the ability to apply those skills elsewhere.
Grit is the conscious ability to overcome voluntary obstacles. Voluntary being from a conscious decision to overcome when there's a clear option to quit. A lot of people never developed grit but instead lived in survival. Or on the other end were handicapped by spoiling.
A lot of people rely on their innate and only go as far as that takes them. And for many life is no more than the conveyor of school to school to college to careers. The conveyor is meant for struggles. For people to follow the order, not see more, and abide by way of life given. Obstacles come with freedom and freedom comes from choice. Making a conscious to do different and do more. This is where and why I see many fail. They're attempting to survive where grit is required. Where one needs to be able to push a little more, walk a little further, mush a little harder, many often only know to reply on where they seen themselves go before.
The mind and then body can go places further than we can imagine. And not just from the innate of adrenaline, but conscious application. Grit. The navy has a 40% rule. Paraphrasing this rule is that when you feel you're ready to stop you're only at 40% of what you can actually do. the first 40% is innate. The 60% is grit.
We must learn to again not judge a book by its cover. Many are soft, gentle, and weak. Not weak in a derogatory sense, but because their grit is underdeveloped. We'll demand then criticize another for not reaching expectations because we'll fail to identify if what we perceive is who they are. What's perceived as confidence can be fear, knowledge- trauma, and strength- pain. Many are tired but know nothing else but to stand in survival. Many do not know how to consciously apply what are still skills to life around them. Grit must be developed and through conscious application, choosing to fight consciously, one can truly gain freedom of self for success.