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Commitment Issues

I realized that many of us don't have "commitment issues". We commit to things all the time whether we realize it or not. What we do have is "I don't want that responsibility" issues.

Much of life is unconscious. And this isn't limited to hair and nail growth. As Mark Manson stated (paraphrasing), it may not be your fault, but it's your responsibility. Now doesn't that suck!? Yes, we're a product of choices we've made, but FUCK! If only you saw what that choice held behind it. The "issue(s)" is in the visibly unseen. As in if we paused for a second and just looked up for a second, we would've saw what was coming; but instead we just walked forward probably scrolling through our phones... Or filling our mind with false hope that maybe it's something good in this direction.

We most commonly use the word "commitment" referring to relationships. And forget that we've given a commitment to many things in our life. Jobs, school, family, friends, strangers on the road, We've made a commitment that we'll accept the responsibility of pressures to fulfill what comes with these titles as employee, student, friend, daughter/son, partner, driver, etc.

And the commitment is not what's difficult. That's simply accepting. It's consciously taking on responsibilities we DON'T want. And this is where we get lost in "commitment". In that split seconds of actions taking place we magically forget the word "No" exist. In that next second we find ourselves to have assumed the responsibility of task we didn't or don't want. And it sucks.

Unfortunately we're in such a state of Do we don't realize the weight we're taking on. Specially when it's not physical. The physical's the easy task. But to carry the weight of another's emotions from grievance, contemplations, indecision, lack, is what weighs on us most. To give and give and give with little to nothing coming back. Oh yea, a "Good job" sometimes.

Now we bring ourselves to a state of guilt for not wanting to do what we wouldn't have done if we even realized we were doing it to begin with. We don't want to let the person, task, or ourselves down. We don't want to be labeled a "quitter" or "failure"; so what happens? We mosey on with our responsibility issues. Looking for an extreme out to feel validated for our desire to escape.

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