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12:12 Vent

Not being a "Mental health" advocate anymore I've noticed I've not only become less verbal about the topic but I also express myself less. Under the tense of "Preach what you practice" I was always throwing myself out there and I must say, when I look back at it I'm amazed at that.

How quiet I've returned to no longer having to speak amazes me. I always said I was only social media to make money, and if not making money, I wouldn't be on, but I never realized how much I wouldn't do away from social media. I can honestly say I feel I work and do less (obviously) since I don't have to share something everyday.

As great as that may sound I also noticed I've became more sensitive. I'd even say more fearful as well. Fearful of what the responses may be. Yes I was getting much pushback and counters before, but I was working from a different state. It's interesting to me how I'm looked at as this oh so confident and will say anything person, when I really say little unless and/or until necessary.

I'm really not the outspoken contrarian some perceive me to be; nor the guy who is so confident in his thoughts and feelings that can boast them freely. I feel I may even taken steps back when it comes to expressing my pains, frustrations, worries, etc to my partner. Maybe its just the melatonin speaking but I sure notice how much I retract no having to speak up.

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